Trying to get some rest

My desk is cluttered.  Why?  It just is.  I find some comfort in the disorganization.  My contribution to the larger society of the cave.  My art from the exposure to the of cave society.  Funny, the cave is a prison to the those of us forced to return, home to those that have never left. It is my art, my science.  The individual trying to find meaning in the chaos of pretending elders.  Wisdom is not valued in the cave.  Intellect is dismissed for the daily operation.  Money leaves an awful mess of priorities misunderstood and communication is lauded by those that do not share.

Sorry....rambling again.  But it makes sense, at least to those sent back to the cave.  Read recently that those who have reached self-actualization in accordance with Maslow, never lose their thirst for it.  When needs are met, one does not react well to their loss.  If my cavemate is happy in making sure that physical needs are met, it is because she has never had her esteem needs met.  But when one reaches the spiritual fulfillment offered by lifeworld arrangements, the loss of these sends one spiraling downward.  Not everybody understands - how could they when they have not reached that level of life.

The cave is cold and dark now.  The images dance on the wall a little slower today.  Whitman would find no joy here, no understanding of the cave's inhabitants.  Emerson would not stoop so low as to see who is in the cave.  Plato stands at the entrance laughing in a knowingly way, but tries to be sympathetic.  Rene' is trying to do the math.  Camus is a stranger viewing the cave and its inhabitants.  Box laughs at the Ankh.  Nichols plays to the heart, not seeing the shackles.  And the one with rake just keeps raking, ignoring the images, inhabitants, the skeletons while waiting for dead shagman to pass his decree.

Sorry, readers, feeling drained.  The cave is damp and I want to be dry.  The floor is hard and muddy, I want my soft flannel sheets.  I wonder what Neo is doing tonight?

Yours lost,

Justin Credibill

February's Gone

Sorry, my dear readers.  I know that the two of you have probably left this site due to the lack of my involvement.  No real good excuses, just trying to navigate the cave and discovering many new passages, images on the walls, and the shadows that inhabit the darkness.  I have been trying once again to get out of the cave seeing the reflection of sunlight bounce off some walls in the cave.  As I seek their source in an attempt to escape, the rays turn out to be, well, just more reflections of light and not light itself.  But that is the nature of the cave is it not?!

Since we last met, the department at OSC has been introduced to the permanent manager hired by the Chancellor of the college.  And the Chancellor did not fail to disappoint - or, more appropriately, disappoint himself.  He hired someone just like himself - someone more concerned in appearance than in substance.  The Chancellor has a history of poor hires - from an organizational effectiveness viewpoint.  The HR autocrat, the pretentious Fundraiser, the ancient and useless Exec. Vice Chancellor (who is gone more than he is present - physically as well as intellectually) were all the "C's" (the Chancellor) doing and we have been made to suffer ever since.

The new manager from, hmmm...let's call them: "Rodeoho" wears ties as a way of seeming professional in a blue collar department.  He has a degree hanging the wall in Finance, which helps me to understand the current economic crisis we are in - by his decision-making processes.  He says the devil is in the details which as means: "I can't really see big picture."  We are trying to do the job working with him, but it is his personality and the way he is expressing it that has everyone concerned.  He doesn't associate with 'certain people' as he says.  Interesting, many of those people are in the department.  He doesn't try to adapt and think outside the box, but yet wants to try and get a hold of how to do things differently.  He doesn't upset the process and procedure, but then learns that the procedure is not what he thought it was.  Just like the Chancellor and EVC, he does not apologize for false accusations and learning that he is wrong.  He, like they, ignore the simple manners of decency as they appear to be well-mannered and well-bred.

I guess if you are of a certain breed in the caste system, you do not have to stoop to honesty when dealing with others.  maybe it is just too much to ask of the leadership, decency that is.  The patriarchal structure must have those that simply do no wrong to guide those of us who are ignorant and stupid.  We just do not possess the organizational capability to understand that our inclusion into the decision-making process is just, well, messy, cumbersome, and that we just do not and cannot understand the 'big picture.'  Therefore, we do not need to be apologized to for being forgotten, unappreciated, and certainly not understood.  Because we are simple folk, our mental capacity is just not big enough to comprehend what tough and difficult decisions that they have to make....ones that take 6 months to make such as what to do when our last director retired.

Thank God we have our Chancellor and EVC, our Business manager and fundraiser!  We just would be able to make sense out of our silly little lives and jobs without their benevolent guidance and paternalistic dismissals.  Now we have our own in the new manager.  Thanks for thinking of us and providing what you "know" we need!

Thanks for tuning back in.  From the cave, it's Justin Credibill.

Is my Back hurting your knife?

A few posts ago, I shared with you that I had been the victim of a workplace backstabber.  This person is one of my direct reports and has been telling me what a great person I am and then sharing with everyone else how I have been screwing up and treating her bad.  Honestly, despite having worked for most of my life since I was ten (starting with my family's business), I have never personally experienced this before - certainly not as the victim.
We, the department at OSC, are in the midst of being outsourced to a management company.  What does this mean?  Well, we have all been transfered from being employees of OSC to employees of the management company.  This company will be directing all of our operations and we bring new directives and change unlike this department or OSC has ever seen or really understands.  Many of these changes are and have been long needed as years of mismanagement, favortism, waste, and unsafe conditions have simply been allowed to run crazy.  It has left the most dysfunctional situation I have ever encountered.  You may remember that I was originally hired to 'clean up' the department.  I have learned the hard way that it is completely undoable without the support of those that hired you.  That is an example of OSC current poor management.  There is no communication for a new employee after hiring and general orientation to perform their assigned job.

As a result, the new employee is left to try to perform their job, seen by the organization as going out on a limb, too far, and having the limb cut from the trunk of the tree while the employee is out on it.  I am no the only victim of this at OSC.  As I have learned, others hired to help OSC grow have been victims as well.  We are thinking about starting a support group, but we also feel as if we may all be sitting a limb that could be sawed off and where would that lead us?

The backstabber has compounded the situation for me, a wrinkle not encountered by some of my fellow limb climbers.  I have decided to not do anything, confront the person or defend myself to the new management.  I have decided to avoid the person and ignore her usual unfounded crying.  It has paid off.  The backstabber has proven to the new management that their efforts are disruptive and damaging for team morale.  During their first week, the backstabber dug for information about the changes coming our way by asking about how things were at the college the transition team was from.  We had been told that we were to be held in line with what OSC had as far as schedules, but the Backstabber spread numerous rumors and gossip.  This sent shock waves up both organizations and she was proven to be corrected in front of the entire department and to the new management transition team.

The backstabber continues to cause problems and my strategy seems to be paving off.  The other employees I work with know how the Backstabber works and have.  Credibility is eroding away at the same time efforts are getting more direct and soon something should break.  Call it giving enough rope to hang oneself or any of a number of cliche's, but it is coming.  Remember, I had gone to bat for this person, defending them against what was shared as abusive treatment.  I got additional compensation for the individual, having fought that battle all the way to the top of the OSC.  Yes, this is a devious and dangerous person.  In a way (a very small way), I am glad to have experienced this painful chapter and I hope to learn from it. 

Interestingly enough, the more this backstabber is ignored, by others as well as myself, the angrier they have become.  Our new manager has only spent one day each of the past two weeks here in our office as he transitions from another school.  I understand that the backstabber waited to the end of the day after I left to stab me in the back yet again to him.  The backstabber had done the same with the upper level management and the personnel director at OSC prior to the resulting outsourcing of the department.  While I do not have concrete evidence to support this, I believe that this situation was one of the determining factors to go with outsourcing rather than trying to work things out internally.  Too many things continue to add up and seem to pointing in that direction.  See, that is another sad result of a toxic workplace:  that so much time and energy is focused on matters that have no direct bearing on  the actual work that needs to be done.

This is an ongoing chapter that cannot be covered in just one post, but I did want to bring you up to date.  The cave is mumbling with rumors and gossip, lies - both white and black.  For those of you in toxic work environments, be cautious and careful who you trust.  It is an unfortunate and sad situation.  I do not believe that it takes all kinds to make the world go around, but then again, how can we know what is good and beautiful if we do not know and experience what is bad, wrong, and ugly.  I guess we must try and enjoy the images on the wall of the cave, but realize that they are not what they represent.  It is hard when it is only images that we are exposed to, even if we are returning to the cave as opposed to never having left.

Thanks for being you!

It's Justin Credibill

Temples and Artifacts

Well, this past week saw the end to a couple of meaningful portions of my life, one personal...one professional.  Both could have been foretold.  My grandfather had to move in with my uncle because of failing health and debilitating progress of age.  We are close, not in much of a way as being similar to all of the members of the family, but rather something unique to the family dynamic.  He lived next to my other uncle and I was able to get to see him when I visited my family home.  Now, he will be more than another hour further away.  He and I shared a same wave length, a same frequency.  While others swirl with gossip and martyrdom, he and I could smile lovingly at each other and know what the other was thinking without having to speak to express our thoughts.  I know that I can experience that again when I visit, unfortunately, it probably much less frequent than it has been.

My partner and I made the difficult decision to close our technical land services business in December.  We had tried to keep it running while the economy tanked, but the numbers were just overwhelming and the work had truly dried up, nothing in the bushes to beat.  After cutting back to bare bones in labor, insurances, etc., we were able to make it through two years of scraping the bottom.  But finally we had to make the decision to close operations.  We went to the bank to begin that sad process.

This weekend, I had the task of beginning the dismantling of both of these remaining temples where I worshipped and found solace.  My grandfather in his nineties had collected what would be expected of lifetime well lived.  My business had all of the information and files expected of a once thriving concern for more than 30 years.  These changes are happening all around us.  These two came close to home for me.  Both represent relationships and efforts of passion, respect, love, work, and long worked-for goals.  Both of these have been effected by powers and forces that can be controlled or predicted by no one, at least not precisely.  It is like knowing that you got in trouble in school and all day long, after the principal called your father in the morning after you left his office, you knew what you were going to get when you got home.  The certainty makes it no easier.  Surprise can be shocking, but the pain is just the same.  Perhaps the pain is worse because of the knowing that it is coming adds to the stress on one's mind, body, and soul.

I spent this holiday weekend emptying out these my temples.  Perhaps I shouldn't use the word "temple."  I am not trying to relay a preference for any religion, but rather something that expresses a part of the spirit that moved in me while spending time in them.  It is not the places that evoke these feelings, but rather the people and the time spent in each that developed that sense of spirituality.  So please excuse the verbiage if it offends you, but I wanted to convey the spiritual nature of these places.

As I was saying, I spent this past three day weekend trying to sort out and empty these two places.  Of course, moving is never really easy and not much fun.  My grandfather's house of course had a lifetime's amount of collection and unique pieces of craft and art.  Both he and my grandmother were very good with their hands and made many fascinating things.  Among these were little airplanes made out of shells.  The size of these and the intricate detail made these planes a future family heirloom and all the siblings wanted them.  My grandfather asked that I take them for my son so that they would remain in the family's name for generations, and I did so.  Did I want them, no doubt.  But the difference here is that among the sadness, this is what my grandfather requested.  Losing much of makes one independent is enough to drive most of crazy, but making sure that all of your belongings that give you a sense of place, history, human experience, and comfort go to those you desire to have them is important.  That is why those planes are now in my house.

Upon returning to from my grandparents home, I then had to go to the offices of my former business and begin the dismantling process there.  My partner and I purchased the business six years ago during the robust booming economy.  The business had changed hands before in the late 1980's, and it had been in existence since the late seventies.  The business had grown and trained many of the local engineers in the area.  Unfortunately, we had not paid off the loan we took out to purchase the business so the potential ramifications of its demise has a much more immediate effect.  This area had experienced a continuing boom during the businesses existence, it was not affected by the economic slowdowns of the late eighties and early nineties nor during the aftermath of 9/11/2001.

Again, the relics and artifacts of the life of the business serve only as symbols of that life and those that it touched.  The people and the team we had worked very hard to establish as well as the culture, was something to be proud of.  We had our difficulties - anything involving humans is messy.  But we also had a place where we wanted to be, where we wanted to give more than what we took away from it.  50 or 60 hours a week was not expected, but not uncommon and rarely considered a chore.  It was a spirit of community, not quite family, team that drew each of to work.  A sense of purpose, a sense that we were doing something important that each of us felt drawn to.  We loved what we did, most of the clients we did it for, and took special interest in the growth and development and personal lives of those we worked with.  This is something that moved my spirit.  It may be hard for some of you to understand, but this was a daily spiritual experience for me.  The regular and methodical way we worked together for a common goal had at its core a the sense of common bond, a connection of spirit.

As the artifacts do not have much meaning without the understanding of the who and the them that have shared the artifact for some purpose.  The relic carries meaning for the anthropologist studying culture, but nowhere close to the meaning for those that participated in the culture, that shared the time using the artifact.  The dismantling of these two temples are more than just another change in life we must face.  These are two cultures that are now forever gone.  For the family and for the members of our company, these mark a change in life.  Memories are all that will be left and the relics and artifacts that will help to evoke those memories.  Is a stapler spiritual, does it have meaning?  Does the children's book your grandmother read to you each time you visited have meaning?  Is it the type of use of the artifact that claims its meaning?  We live in the most material age in known history even though we suffer the affects of consumerism run amok.  But I feel confident in my 'hoarding,' that one day the meaning I give to those artifacts I still have and share with others during another time and place.

My pocketknife has a history, but only I know of most of it because it is with me most of the time.  If I give to my son or a friend the details of the history are mine alone.  I can give the sense of the what the knife represents to me, what it helped my accomplish and the meaning it has for me.  But when it is in the possession of someone else, the meaning changes because its known detailed history changes, usually being less than what it was.  Does it have a spirit, well no.  But can it represent a spirituality, a bond, an appreciation and that meaning changes with the person who holds it in their hand.  What is now an heirloom has changed its meaning for me.  It will change again when i give to my son as his life must have its own experience with the artifact which could either enrich or destroy it.

Neither of the dismantling of these two temples could have been avoided, postponed maybe, but not avoided.  Both were sparked by financial restraints that are the reality of the day, year (or a decade as it seems to be going), our times.  These two adventures were not the most pleasant excursions out of Plato's Cave, but it helps me to know that I once experienced the sun, its light, its warmth.  The artifacts in the cave hold little meaning despite their monetary value because there is not that sense of common goal, effort.  There is no sharing of community and purpose in the cave, more so each of us look through the darkness to make sure that no one else treads into our part of the cave, and tries to affect our little, insignificant spot watching the images appear on the wall.

From my little spot in the cave....

Its Justin Credibill

Karma & Show Horses

Rarely there are moments of satisfaction here at OSC so it is necessary to savor those moments when they occur.  Such was the story this week, the same week this blog was started.  It was shared that someone in my department had been badmouthing me since last spring to the administration (used rather than management since there isn't any) while telling me how great I was and not sharing what their problems with me.  This had been such a subtle campaign that I did not pick up on what was going on.

I have never been one to hide my thoughts because it has been my belief that as a leader, I needed to set the example to those on my team  to feel free to do the same.  Primarily, I believe that team members need to share their thoughts so that the best solution found from the group and can be achieved.  This was working at some level with our team, but then the process was used against me, a first.  Building trust in teams is essential - not my words, but it is found in every piece leadership material and literature out there.  Trust is difficult to build, but once damaged, even harder to repair.

For me, once trust has been broken, it has been very hard to even find redeeming value in the individual that broke that trust.  Of the mantras I have shared with teams I work with include: "I will trust you until I can't trust you, and if I can't trust you, then I don't need you."  This has served me and those teams very well.  But not in the OSC culture.  It seems that the systematic lack of moral integrity, strength of virtue, and zero management has left the 'Institution' lacking in organizational fortitude.  Simply leaving wrongs left alone out of fear for....well, a variety of reasons.  Many have called it a 'family' but that description means too much needed tough love has been left by the wayside.  Doing what is right has been put aside for doing what is easy, leaving people alone out of fear of confrontation, allowing terrible management processes and inappropriate behavior at all levels to exist simply because of fear and ignorance.  The incompetent seem to rise in the organization and those that produce a great deal of the work, are left in their roles without chance for opportunity because, well, it is easy, problem solved - don't move them out and their role will always get done!  And "they are too busy, just leave them be and we will make the hard decisions."

Of course, all of these thoughts are masked from the work horses.  I must mention Jim Collins' book Good to Great here.  If you haven't read it, you should.  It is an amazing book that reveals some of the characteristics of companies that changed the way they did business and built their organizations to success beyond initial dreams.  One of the concepts in the book is the difference between "show horses" and "work horses" that needs to be beaten into the OSC administration.  Why you may ask?  Because it is the culture of the OSC administration to seek and accept as fact outside expert opinion and suggestions, to the rejection of those that brought the organization to current status.  This could be argued by the OSC administration, but those doing the arguing would be the "Show Horses," those that claim the credit for the work done by the, you guessed it, the "Work Horses."


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Show Horse - looks great,
but doesn't really do anything

  Work Horses at OSC are ignored and even dismissed by the Show Horses.  That helps them feel more secure (since they are so insecure in their ability and credibility).  Basically, this is how the inept remain in control.  Worse, the royal inept communicate these concepts 'around the campfire,' and the effect is devastating because the victim doesn't even know it has happened.  Meetings attended have the palpable tension of an anticipated ambush.  No matter the validity or soundness of thoughts or suggestions offered, immediate dismissal - even smirks and giggles linger over the conference table like a fog.

But this week during the initial stages of transition to outsourced management, one of the players - the backstabber - had just enough rope to hang himself and he did so with flare.  The backstabber started untrue rumors and was shown to be the snake he truly is.  Sorry, but call it karma or 'the lord works in mysterious ways' or what goes around, comes around, felt really good.  To even admit that, to revel in the demise of a fellow co-worker, seems unseemly.  But when one works in a Toxic workplace, satisfaction can't be found in a job well done.  Reward doesn't come from achieving goals, but from watching enemies get their justice.

Backstabbers and the show horses are a part most workplaces and must be dealt with.  These have not changed since organized work began.  But at OSC, it is the entire culture.  And what happens in the culture all flows from the top.  This is why integrity is the most essential ingredient of social interaction and leadership - because when karma comes around, you have to be able to fully enjoy it by keeping your nose clean (and not brown!).

Thanks & that's

Justin Credibill

The Remains (& still in place) of a Static Organization = Toxic Management & Workplace

Greetings!  It is cold, raw and wet here - somewhat metaphoric to this place of such worthy goals with such mean-spirited people and management.  I was browsing my leadership and motivation sites this morning and found some that I would like to frame the resulting blogs: Toxic Management and Workplace.  Reviewing this information as I have done in my short tenure here, has made me very sensitive to this subject.  Here are some links to enjoy:

Toxic Workplace
There could be one near you!

http://www.leadership-and-motivation-training.com/toxic-workplace.html




"It's dynamic management, not 'Bullying!'


http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm

Initially, my job description was a three sentence email sent to the organization as a whole stating that I would be supervising the employees of the three functional groups in the department I work in reporting to the manager of the department.  In interviews with the reporting supervisor of the department, the director of the department, and the Human Resources Director of the organization, my mission was stated that I was to "clean up the department."  The first problem I noticed is probably the same one you just picked up on: to clean up a department while reporting to the manager of the department who allowed the department to be in a state that needed to be cleaned up.  Needing something to do, never being afraid of a challenge, and having been asked to perform similar tasks with other organizations, I took the job.

So I took the pill!

But what was different here was that the upper-level management didn't really clarify what was needed or desired.  There was no discussions of the situation, strategies for tackling the issues, or any real support to do what would be necessary to get the job done.  In short, I was setup for failure.  I, especially, because I am ready to tackle the challenge; I can be aggressive and determined (others have tried to call me hard-headed and stubborn, but what do they know? [;')]) in pursuit of the goals set for me.  So as I began to do what I thought I was supposed to do, the situation crumbled around me.  I now see how I must have been perceived as a 'Bull-in-a-China shop.'  I discussed everything with the Director of the department, but what I assumed to be benign support, was really a quiet giving of length rope that I would be hanging myself with.


Now, if you have looked at the links I provided above and are wondering how what I have discussed and the links have in common, well, everything.  You see, the culture is very toxic and the ambiguity of my intitial employment is a result of the toxicity and a bullying culture - both of which are a sign of poor-to-no management.  As a result, what I now see as the 'bull' perception of my approach, was considered and twisted to be that very thing, accompanying commentary (completely behind my back - the one being stabbed - but now has been shared with me) for proof: "who does he think he is...", "He doesn't understand, that's not how we do it here....he just wants to make it hard on us...", "they just gave him this job because his wife works here...", "how dare he say that, he can't do that...," etc.  And these comments I expected from those 'supposedly' reporting to me, but not so much from those who hired me.

The above-referenced links were found during research to understand the confusing and somewhat depressing state I have been wandering and wondering through since I began my employment.  A number of links have been found during this journey.  My fellow student in my program have learned of my experiences and, thank goodness, they are scattered all over the world with none of them here.  For a long time, I blamed myself - a habit of years trying to perfect and fix everything I find broken.  Did the demise of my consulting business and loss of our team send me into a ranting stage?  Did the resulting loss of income stress my outlook and attitude?  Was it my inexperience and resulting misunderstanding of the organization's culture that put me into such a lost state?  In many ways, the answer was yes.  I even began to question my own sanity.  I allowed myself to get put on anti-depressants.  I even began to drink regularly.  But in the end, it was my responsibility to handle the situation; I just did so poorly.

But as I began to analyze my situation, the history as shared to me of the place, and the comments of others hired within a similar time period, I began to realize it was not just me.  The level of mistrust, the amount of destructive gossiping and the incorrect information conveyed, and the overall poor morale of those charged with the implementation of the work helped me to realize that it just wasn't all of my making.  While this has helped me to not take things so personal, it still leaves me in this place, what can only be politely called a "Toxic Workplace" (emphasis intended!!!!!!!).

So I hope that while what is relayed in these two of many other links of information on the subject will help establish a foundation of what I will relay.  I hope you will recognize what I have:  the pain of incompetency, the result of wrong (insecure, bullying, self-centered, and self-promoting) people in positions of authority, responsibility, and control, the abuse of power, the assault on and reduction of humanity, and the unnecessary injury to mission and vision of the organization.  Brought to you by the management and staff of 'Plato's Cave!'

What you read here....well that's

Justin Credibill

Undrugged Daze

Greetings!  I hope this post finds all of you in the midst of another moment of movement on your journey.  For me, it is around 7:00AM and I have been at work - or better described as the place I come to get my paycheck - for half an hour or so.

I am at a small liberal arts college in the mountains.  Which mountains doesn't really matter, let's just say the 'Rockies.'  Let's call it OSC for simplicity purposes.  If you would like to know what the acronym stands for, just post a comment with your email address and I will send it to you.  As an added morsel to contribute to the juciness of these postings, I am an alumni of this "institution," a term that is used for colleges and universities as well as mental health facilities - I have come to realize that I now need to spend some time in the latter to see if there are more similarities because I believe that are many!

As a student, I was provided with a caring and attentive residential learning experience that continues to this day to influence my life.  My current social contacts for the most part were fellow students here.  This is where I met my wife, fell in love, and as fate would have it, where she works as well.  The spouse/spouse combo is not rare here as I understand is common in this industry.  This extremely positive experience, however, is not translated to those in the employ of the institution, especially as staff member, can't really say if the feeling is the same for faculty, but some have shared that it is.

Prior to my arrival, I had been in the consulting business.  Due to current economic conditions, I needed to find something else to do and chose a challenging opportunity to "fix" a broken support department at OSC - or at least that was what I was told during my interview process.  That information is crucial to help explain what will follow on this blog as to what has happened and what will be happening during my internment here.

Please understand that I have a deep appreciation for the job as I needed something to do.  I had a business running with several employees that is now shut down and I had to be the one to let them know the news of termination and layoff.  But I spent much of my life in professional and volunteer settings building teams, developing team members and employees, establishing lines of communication, setting goals and agendas, forming visions and mission concepts and working towards executing them, and celebrating the successes and analyzing the obstacles that prevented success.  From this background in experience, I am also furthering my education in organization communication and leadership as it is my passion.

So to keep an understanding for future use and clarifying my experience, I will use this blog to help me understand what I am experiencing - a reflection tool if you will.  Why?  Because up til now, I have felt that I was progressing forward, growing personally and professionally, and seeing the results of my passion and efforts.  Now I have fallen into 'Plato's Cave' and it is a dark place void of the light of truth and knowledge.  I can still eat in this cave, but my eyes need the sun that they are used to and it is hard to find my way around the cave and/or out of it.

Thanks & remember:

That's Justin Credibill!

Sleep Tight

The cell phone buzzes.  It is a text message from a colleauge.  About work, but the gossip side.  Not really proud about it, but sometimes it is the informal communication lines that provide the majority of information.  This is especially true for dysfunctional organizations.  The greater the dysfunction, the more essential informal lines of information become.  The ability to filter falsehoods, sort out truthful tidbits, and determining the background meaning to the gossip becomes crucial.

It is communication.  The 'right' kind, the 'proper' kind, or the desired kind (of communication that is), no.  But it does test one's skills in filtering and establishing what is ultimately being communicated.  This could be a version of "the silver lining in the dark cloud" or even in the worst of times, we can learn something.  This is where I find myself these days: wondering and wandering.  My current place of employment works in the worst kind of 'Good ol' boy' culture where professional function is secondary to personal relationship (aka: scratching of backs).  I know, I know...I will be the first among all of you to admit that personal relationships are the most crucial aspect of making things happen, but is that how many of our admired leaders accomplished their goals, i.e. Martin Luther King and civil rights, etc.

While suffering through the dysfunction, I have tried to pull myself out (every evening after work) and look at the overall.  It is difficult because I am passionate about teams, about helping people grow in the skills and accomplishments.  But I find myself subject to the worst kind of backstabbing and political sabotage and labeled those unfortunate tags I have preached against my entire professional and volunteer career.  I am getting an education in life experience and refresher course in humility.

I started this blog on the suggestion of my wife who - bless her heart - is tired of hearing this from me.  I do not plan on advertising the publication of this blog due to the sensitive nature of what I will be discussing, but if you find some some fragment that could be useful to you in your journey or feel not alone in your suffering by reading these posts then it will be worth the effort.  The therapeutic effect of writing them and getting them out of my head is just an added bonus!

Yours,

Justin Credibill